Here I am, sitting on a couch that is not mine in a hotel in downtown Austin. My family is visiting from Houston and it is my parents' 34th wedding anniversary. It has been nice having them here and finally, I feel the comfortable sense of settling...the uneasiness I experienced a few days ago feels sort of distant now and I am able to let go a little bit more.
In this week's blog post I wanted to touch on something I've been experiencing as a woman working for herself...and that is...the unknown...and also, the inevitable lulls that happen in business during holiday seasons and summer and just life. Nothing is constantly bursting...there are slower moments and times when business just isn't as booming...that seems to be this past week for me.
May and June were slammed!! I attracted many new clients into my world and happily worked with them all. I was on cloud 9!!! It's working! It's really working!! And everything felt meant to be and alive and full....
It's only July 4th today but things are a bit thinner this month with people traveling (including myself to Hawaii) and I'm experiencing more time to just exhale...I'm grappling with trust even more--more than ever...how can I trust that these moments of downswing are going to be followed by another upswing? Well, for one thing it's the nature of the business...and for another thing, welcome to the wonderful world of entrepreneurship! The top of a roller coaster...thrilling, alive but not always predictable...I am brave. I am taking a leap. And learning to trust.
What is great about settling into this time is that I get to spend time with my 6 month old nephew, introducing him to a swimming pool for the first time. I get to take day trips to the country and swim in beautiful springs...I get to soak up copious amounts of vitamin d on long city walks and enjoy giant carafes of French press coffee...if I don't allow myself to surrender, I'll miss out on these things.
A woman who I deeply admire and someone who started her own yoga studio checked in with me the other day asking about business...ah, yes..the summer lull! For us too, she said...and expressed the importance of just enjoying these moments of our life without freaking out!
Ah yes, the summer lull...and this is how it is now...in full awareness and acceptance and appreciation for the opportunity to take care of myself, to rest and to deeply trust that everything is unfolding as it should.
Hell, I have these fantasties of applying to 9-5 jobs where everything is guaranteed...but guess what? Not even then are things 100% certain. They never ever are.
And so just for today, I will enjoy time with my family and not worry about tomorrow. I will watch the fireworks and spend time with my nephew. I will soak up the sun and be grateful for my beautiful life unfolding exactly as it should be.
Trust. It has always been ok and will continue to be.