Staying in Discomfort

This post is coming to you a day later than usual because yesterday was Goliath with clients and conversations and self-care.  And so, it is now Tuesday and I am writing.

This week I am drawn to write about discomfort.  Part of the discomfort begins with the fact that I had already written this post but it got deleted.  The rain is making internet connection spotty, I presume.  So onward, I will do my best to reproduce what I had already captured.

It begins with a story.  The other day, I traded massage with the owner of Myo, Levi and he gave me feedback the body work I gave him.  He said skillfully that my work is very focused and methodical.  I think he even used the word calculated (which is interesting, because I do not consider myself a very calculated person) but it is what he experienced.  I also told me that he felt that I was an excellent observer of the body but that I could step forward more and take the session more into my own hands, literally...being more assertive and taking up space in the same way I do as a yoga teacher.  This resonates with me and it is part of the discomfort that I feel.  He also shared that I could linger on different body regions longer and give myself permission to just explore.  This brings up fear for me...staying put for longer---to explore.  And makes me consider that sometimes boredom and anxiety spring me forward to quickly---and I don't give myself a chance to stay in the unknown or the discomfort long enough to learn new skills and build new muscles.

This translates well into what our country is experiencing too currently with all the change, uncertainty and discomfort.  And the necessity to stay in this discomfort to have difficult and important conversations.  There is a lot of growth in the uncertainty and willingness to change rhetoric and norms.

Recently, I've been fortunate enough to dialogue with men and women about female oppression, which is something, as a woman I feel deeply inspired to address openly.  The discussions have mostly been about creating safer spaces by meeting somewhere in the middle.  I don't have to become hateful or inflamed to get my point across as a woman---that it is possible to get my needs met by stepping to my divine feminine power.  

I notice that when I am in a male dominated group, especially if the men are boisterous and take up a lot of space---I become more of an observer and a listener, which is a role I have become very accustomed to and even comfortable occupying.  It doesn't however, do the group a service if I withhold my true feelings on matter and just absorb it all.  That is not healthy for me nor the people I am around.  My voice matters.

I am interested in helping men and women meet somewhere in the middle.  That, as women, we are not the healed---here to teach men how to step up...we are here to meet each other.  Men, to learn how to step down from over explaining and talking too long and women to learn how to assert ourselves and speak up more---but we have to become more aware of how this effects us all and it is uncomfortable.

I also had the privilege of drinking tea with a man whose Facebook post from the week prior angered me.  It is not helpful for me, respond to something on the feels veiled and cowardly.  It was more fruitful to sit face to face with this person and talk about male/female roles and expectations and how was can shift the dynamics...

It is my hope and goal to lead workshops around this help men and women alike become more aware of creating safer spaces for one another---to encourage us all to step up and that includes me.  To stay in the discomfort, the growth zone...More will be revealed.

Until next time,